Thursday, April 27, 2017

Word of the Day


1) Masturbating as a form of aerobic or anaerobic exercise.

"Everyone at the gym stared at me when I finished my jerkout of the day(JOD)"

Friday, August 6, 2010

antoine dodson can be in my neighborhood watch program

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

You must now try Jack Rabbit Light Beer

I have never had Jack Rabbit Light but by god after this commercial I'm atleast gonna have to try it now.

Word of the Day


The process of learning how to ejaculate.

"John got a good ejacucation from his friends mom."

Monday, March 29, 2010

Top ten lb for lb fighters in MMA

1) Anderson "Spider" Silva

Any man who can embarass forrest griffin like this is definately going to be at the top of my list. I've never seen anyone else pull this stunt in a mma fight and just chill in the middle of the ring with his hands down and then slap a dude out cold.
mma record: 25-4

2) Georges "Rush" St-Peirre
Despite a couple losses early in his career this guy has just been unbeatable. His take down success rate is 78% which is head and shoulders above anyone elses. And even though he talks like a fruit, wears tights, is from canada, and doesn't trash talk everyone is afraid of him. Just ask BJ Penn who he has beat twice and the second time pummeled him until BJ's corner felt like they couldn't let their man die in the octagon.
mma record: 20-2

3)Fedor Emelianenko
Any guy who can look like that after a win has got my respect. Not to mention he has defeated opponents who have outweighed him easily in the pride fighting championships. And he has only let 6 of his fights go to decision and his one loss was stopped due to a laceration (this counts as a TKO). Still needs to put aside the business side of mma and move into the UFC and compete against the best competition. Thats about the only reason he slid to number 3.
mma record: 32-1

4)Lyoto "the dragon" Machida
Yes he is undefeated but this guys fighting style is not that entertaining. The son of a great Karate master, Lyoto gets hit less than anyone else in the sport. He avoids big hits and slides out of take downs. Good fighter, but too many of his fights go to decision and lets just be honest everyone would rather see a knockout or submission. Look for him to start pleasing the fans with more knockouts in the near future though and perhaps move up these rankings.
mma record: 16-0

5)BJ Penn

Three of BJ's five losses are to fighters ranked higher than him on this list(twice to St-pierre and one to Machida). He looks like a fat little boy but he is the second person ever to hold UFC title belts in two different weight classes at the same time(first being randy couture). Still the light weight champion of the world.

mma record: 15-5

6) Shinya Aoki
Isn't a big name fighter in the USA but definately has earned a name for himself over seas. We will see how his American debut goes when he fights in strikeforce on April 17th.
mma record: 23-4

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Word of the Day

Procrasturbate -
"1.) To waste time (procrastinate) by pleasuring oneself (masturbate), putting off other work that one should be doing by masturbating.

2.) To screw oneself (figuratively) by not doing work when one should be.
I had an English paper due, but I spent all day yesterday procrasturbating, and boy am I in trouble now."
This word applies to me like no other word has applied to me before. Ted Williams hits, Jesus saves and I procrasturbate.

Top 4 Glasses Tricks

4. Burning ants like you are God and they are little people.

Jack stole Piggy's glasses and decided to start a fire with them. I take that shit one step further and burn ants with them. Be scared of my focal point.

3. Putting tape on the bridge to look like a nerd.

Ever wanted to look like a nerd? Slap on a little white tape, some suspenders and a bowtie, boom, you're a nerd. Oldest trick in the book.
2. Putting a piece of black paper over one lens to look like a pirate.
Pirates are always missing eyes (itchy eye + hook). Put paper over a lens to make an eye patch. Now you've tricked people into thinking you're a pirate. I may have gotten this idea from Hook.

1. Moving your glasses with one finger whilst wearing them.
Sort of hard to explain this trick through words, but you know what I'm talking about. Put your finger at the end of one of the arms and bounce the glasses up and down on your face. You do this because it's funny, I think. The number one glasses trick of all time.

If you're interested in making your own glasses tricks or just watching some more, check out these cool trick videos.